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Well, winter has settled in. I'm not so sure how I feel about this. Last year I longed for a big dump of snow, a frigid chill in up my spine, and a warm heated bed to craw in to. Now that I've had it and I'm ready for it to stop.
Enough about the weather.
Things are pretty consistent in my life these days, which makes me restless. As I visited with my mom last week, I casually mentioned that I keep thinking about what might be next. She quickly pointed out that I've been home for only 4 months. It's true. My whole life I've basically been anticipating what's next: becoming a teenager, getting my license, going to college, turning 21, etc. etc. Since I graduated, it seems that I've only signed 1 year work contracts and because of that, I am constantly in search, or pursuit, or in question (whatever), of what's around the next corner. (cue in Pocahontas' Just around the Riverbend...)
I came home without many strings attached, just a few student loans which will be an ever present constant for many years to come. I intended to return to school for Elementary Education, and I'm still interested in that, but it's a fairly large commitment and really, the idea of student teaching w/o income is extremely unappealing. So, I'm here. I have a great job which will undoubtedly keep me in the area for a few more years. It also mashes so many of my interests and is giving me the opportunity to grow professionally and personally...I should be completely happy, settling in, content...and in most ways I am...but I'm unable to shrug that thin cape that carries me from now to whatever is next (and I do have some brewing ideas;)
It's been a great day - a relaxed, productive, pajama filled day.I woke up at 10:40am. It's rare that I sleep in that late anymore. I woke up with mixed emotions of guilt and excitement, but after a few blinks, I decided that sleeping in was a well deserved treat. With my laptop on my tummy, I finished the first season of Flight of the Conchords before rolling out of bed for some much craved caffeine. This afternoon I decided to make some food to hold me over for the week b/c I usually don't allow myself enough time in the mornings to pack a decent lunch. Cooking was followed by speaking with two of my friends who also taught in Korea, which propelled me into an intoxication of memories. This made me dig out my journal from last year and reminisce about jim jil bangs, bng's, the muse, norebangs, bus rides to Busan, Pohang, my apartment, heated floors, chat n' fats, arcades, dak galbi, dancing abbey, hiking....all of it came rushing back so quickly...in a good way.That only made me feel a surge of energy to reorganize my closet and clean my room. By the time I finished that, my roommate returned from Chicago and we made some delicious soup and I helped her with some baby shower invites.That brings me to now, where I'm sitting on my couch and still in my pajamas. It all of a sudden occurred to me that I haven't changed my clothes at all today, I haven't left the house and I've spent much of the day hanging solo. Again, I felt a twinge of guilt and disappointment in myself, but after thinking about it, I decided that this is exactly the kind of day I needed. I shouldn't feel bad about hanging around in my apartment in my pj's, working on "me" stuff and enjoying my day off of work. Yaya.
